Not Bliss
by Runespoor
Summary: When he left Konoha, Sasuke didn't know about the Kyuubi.


**Title:** Not Bliss  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** When he left Konoha, Sasuke didn't know about the Kyuubi.  
**Notes:** This owes a lot to Spectrum's Stone Skipping, and probably to a number of other Naruto-and-Sasuke centered fics. I strongly encourage you to read Spectrum's fics if you even remotely care about the dynamics between Naruto and Sasuke, as they're amongst the most touching, IC and well-written I've yet come across. /pimp no jutsu/

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During the first few months Sasuke spends grabbing everything Orochimaru sends at him – enough that, unlike what he dreaded, he doesn't need to insist upon being taught _more_, because the Snake Sannin is one of the most efficient teachers the Leaf ever produced – he doesn't think about why he came to Orochimaru. 

The answer is glaring enough – sizzling between his fingers when Orochimaru encourages him to practice exercises that make him focus Chidori until he can twist it any shape strikes his fancy – that he doesn't need to wonder.

He doesn't think about why he left Konoha either, but that's because he doesn't want to think about Naruto.

And Sakura, and Kakashi.

But mostly Naruto.

He doesn't want to think about Kakashi lecturing him or about Sakura's tears, but not half as much as he doesn't want to think about the fight with Naruto.

Any fight with Naruto, really.

Because when he does, it's hard to remember that he's the one who won the fight, in the end. He can't shake the thought that Naruto was aiming at his brow, not his chest, and that when he left, there was a deep slash across the Leaf symbol. Naruto, after all, was right. He could put a scratch on Sasuke.

And that was, of course, why Sasuke had to leave. Kakashi's teachings were useful, but Sasuke suddenly wasn't good enough to keep beating on Naruto.

Sasuke doesn't want to remember what powerlessness feels like, so he doesn't think of Naruto. Even if thinking of Naruto makes him train even harder.

Five months into his apprenticeship, Orochimaru tells him about the Kyuubi. Or rather, he reminds him, mentions it between two commas; as if was something Sasuke should already know.

At the time Orochimaru is talking about using one's advantages to the utmost, and Naruto's name comes up in relation with the Nine-Tailed Fox.

The electrical chakra on Sasuke's katana fizzles and dies.

Orochimaru's face goes blank for too short an instant for the reaction to be anything but genuine.

"What, didn't you know, Sasuke-kun?" he mutters, in a musing tone.

Sasuke stares at his master. Through his numbness, he tries to count the ways Orochimaru may be lying to him. Can Orochimaru have reasons to make Sasuke believe that? What game can he be playing this time? He generally doesn't find Sasuke excuses for falling so behind that Naruto could catch up with him...

Before Sasuke's troubled eyes, Orochimaru's lips elongate and he bursts out laughing.

Orochimaru's laughter reverberates on the red stone of the chamber walls, and Sasuke wants to flinch.

Later, when Sasuke has stopped training for hours now and he's in the room that is his, preparing to go to bed, he stays unmoving for long minutes before his fist punches the wall. His breathing comes uneven and ragged in the silent room. Orochimaru's laughter echoes in his ears, and beyond the fear and the anger, Sasuke has the confusing hunch that he is being humiliated beyond mere mocking.

After that, Orochimaru never misses an opportunity to use Naruto's name. Every time he does, there's the faintest trace of a smirk curling his lips. After a while Sasuke learns to control his reaction; to hide it so well, bury it so deeply he sometimes thinks there's nothing to be hidden anymore.

He doesn't like thinking of Naruto any more after the revelation than he did before, though.

Because when he does, he has to think about why he left Konoha.

And then Sasuke is forced to admit that his reasons for leaving are not as clear-cut as they once seemed. Because Naruto's power really was the Kyuubi's, and _he_ hadn't been falling behind after all.

So Sasuke, instead, focuses on the power Orochimaru is feeding him, obligingly, smilingly; and he ignores the weight of the Sannin's ironical looks.

He was right to leave.

_"Didn't you know, Sasuke-kun?"_

He has to have been right.


End file.
